Recognizing When an Elderly Loved One May Need More Support While Visiting for the Holidays

Holiday visits are more than just a chance to catch up; they are also an opportunity to notice how your elderly loved ones are doing in their daily routines. Sometimes, changes in mobility, comfort, or confidence show up most clearly when they’re in a new environment. Being observant in a respectful, caring way can help you identify when they might need a bit more support at home.

1. Difficulty Navigating Steps or Uneven Floors If your loved one hesitates at stairs, holds onto furniture for balance, or seems unsteady on uneven surfaces, it may be a sign that mobility support or home modifications are becoming more important.

I often take a moment to look at the paint on the walls of the steps. Do you notice hand marks along the wall? It usually means they would benefit from additional support.

2. Trouble Getting In and Out of Chairs Needing significant effort or assistance to rise from sofas or chairs can indicate decreased strength or balance. This can translate to challenges with bed transfers, toileting, or moving safely around their own home.

Ideal surface heights for toilets, beds, and chairs should be personalized.

3. Hesitation in the Bathroom If they seem unsure about showering, avoid using certain bathrooms, or mention feeling unsafe on slippery floors, they may need grab bars, non-slip mats, or other safety features added to their home.

4. Increased Fatigue or Shortness of Breath Struggling with walking short distances, getting winded more easily, or needing frequent breaks could suggest declining stamina or a health condition that needs attention.

5. Changes in Personal Care or Daily Habits Pay attention to whether they appear less groomed than usual, wear clothing in layers that don’t match the temperature, or seem unsure about their medication routine. These subtle cues often point toward difficulty managing daily tasks.

6. Signs of Forgetfulness or Disorientation Getting lost in a familiar layout, misplacing belongings frequently, or repeating questions may signal cognitive changes. Noticing these things early allows families to plan and support more intentionally.

Take a peek at their medications; if it looks like a full bottle but it's time for a refill, the doctor could have changed their medications, or there could be memory issues at play.

7. Withdrawal From Conversation or Activity If they seem quieter, overwhelmed by noise, or less engaged in conversations, it might indicate hearing challenges, cognitive strain, or simply fatigue from overstimulating environments.

8. Comments About Feeling Unsafe or “Too Much to Handle” Listen for remarks like “I don’t go upstairs anymore,” “I almost slipped the other day,” or “The house feels too big now.” People often hint at difficulty before they directly ask for help.

Holiday gatherings shine a gentle light on how our loved ones are navigating life as they age. By observing with empathy and curiosity, not judgment, you can identify when extra support, safer home setups, or even professional help could make their daily life easier and safer. It’s one of the most meaningful gifts you can offer: noticing, caring, and stepping in when it matters.